Sunday, April 2, 2017

Lying on the Floor Listening to Comedy on Netflix

This past Tuesday was the first time since I've been up here that I left work and didn't have to do anything that evening.  I didn't have to run home and deal with writing or cleaning or go get groceries.  I didn't have to prep a session for the next day.  I didn't have to keep a health appointment.  So I left work and got in my car.  I sat there for 20 minutes unable to decide what to do next.  So I wandered around the mall for a while and went home.  After feeding the cat, I basically laid around on the carpet with Netflix on in the background.  Apparently Dave Chappelle put out a couple of specials...

So did a dude named Neal Brennan.  It's called "3 Mics."  It's him on stage with three microphones.  At the left one, he does 1-liners, at the right one, he does standup, and at the middle one he does "emotional stuff."  He's a pretty good comedian but not amazing.  I didn't like the 1-liners and was about to change the program when he started at the middle mic.  Yeah... wow, shit got deep fast.  Then I couldn't look away.

I identify with him.

...

But I don't have jokes the way he does.  I don't have that way of feeling like I'm "winning at life" for a few minutes.  I mean, I love humour but I'm not a comedian.  I don't get to make people laugh the way he does.  Sometimes I get to help people feel or heal - but I think I'll leave that thought there for now.

I'm still not sure what I want to do for my supervised practice year, although I've applied to a few places already.  I don't feel pulled extremely strongly to anything in particular, but feel like I still have a lot to learn.  Apparently, this is a sign of being ready to be done the PhD: realizing that you really still don't know a lot... but you know how to think.  I thought I would know a lot more and feel a lot more prepared when I started this whole thing a million years ago... but this is good too.  And I guess if I don't know what I "really want to do," that might mean that I could be really happy doing clinical in a wide variety of different sites.  Here's hoping.

Love,
Psyche

PS. I fixed commenting! :)
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2 comments:

  1. Rob MacDougallApril 3, 2017 at 5:16 AM

    Well, you make _me_ laugh. (Hmm - that can be taken in more than one way. I mean it in a positive way.) But really I'm posting to ask: why were you lying on the floor? Do they not have couches or beds up there in the north country?

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    1. PsycheApril 3, 2017 at 5:42 AM

      They DO have couches up here but most of them were destroyed in one of the ice storms. To access those that are left, we need to wait for the big spring thaw... otherwise you just slip right off of them and end up on the carpet anyway.

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